I'm sitting around drinking a kombucha and thinking. It's a refreshing evening for me to sit around and overthink life. So tonight I provide you with one of my most honest posts yet.
So I ask you this... What drives you to be healthy? To "get that body?" Do you ever find yourself getting caught up in all the hype to please others?
As I think back over the almost two years that I have been working on my fitness, part of me wonders if I have been playing into the hype. I want to look good if that I happen to run into so and so when I'm back Albany. I'm concerned about abs on the beach. Heaven forbid I have a bit of cellulite on my thighs at the pool. I want my hair long because that's how mermaids and Victoria's Secret Angels wear it.
Let me enlighten you to the photo that I think captures one of the happiest times in my life:
Now no one needs to be a genius to see I'm likely not svelte in this photo. In fact, I likely weigh 40-50 pounds more than I do now. Not many people were really "looking" at me at this point. I was happy regardless though. Where did that confidence and spark go? I rocked that body. Sometimes I don't want to even look at this one.
I often share this photo to demonstrate my progress with weight loss and meeting goals. People like to laugh at it (Ok, I laugh at it too) and remark that I've changed a lot. It's only once that someone said to me, "You look really happy in this photo, where were you?" They focused on me as a person, not me and my weight.
Why do I care what people think? Why keep my hair long when the whole point of it is to donate it to kids that have cancer? Because of the hype!
I never started out this way. I did not give a s*** in high school. I wore neosporin on my face to heal my pimples all day long. But today, I want those abs, the skin of 20 year old who has tanned and no cellulite. On the other hand, I feel the best I have in my life, I'm excited to be fit. I was sad to miss workouts while on vacation. My body didn't work right. I'm excited to get toned up and my energy levels back. Where is the balance. How do I not buy into the hype and the often unattainable expectations that the media and society sets for women?
Today I was reminded that maybe the hype doesn't matter so much. Whether I have abs or not is not going to change what people think or the actions they take. Mostly because most people won't see them but that's besides the point. My abs will not control if you or the person next to you like me or not. Toned arms will not ensure my success in life or the amount in my retirement fund. A defined rear end will not ensure a long and healthy relationship.
I'm humbled today. I'm brought down to earth on what matters. The abs are great, but the mind is greater.
Jeni, I value you, not because you are saucy in your homemade dresses, but dang girl, you make awesome dresses! Your spirit amazes me and your energy rocks. Keep that up. It's NOT hype.
Your humbled Duder,
Jenne
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